Everlasting Chore
The minutes roll by like rocks,
Tumbling down a level floor.
I’m stuck in my little quaint box,
A world with an unopened door.
And the minutes just go by.
And some birds are flying by.
And some wind is blowing by.
Here I am, just getting by.
Getting by and again I play
With the same old worn toys
That yesterday I put away
But now softly make a noise.
I discover every trick of same,
In this lone monotonous game
Where I rearrange my mental food
Till my mind takes a fresher mood.
And I’m never satisfied with the work,
Always doing and wanting some more,
So maybe it’s time to veer the fork
And finally end this everlasting chore.
March 29, 2010 at 3:31 am | Poetry | 1 comment
Nonsense
I want to write another poem,
Though I said I wouldn’t.
My mind is starting to roam,
Though I think it shouldn’t.
I’d write with a different tone,
Or shape my words like a cone.
I’m improvise a line or two,
Maybe risk looking like a foo’.
I’d base all my stuff off rhymes
Because I’ll never have to think,
Except for a few seldom times
When my mind starts to blink.
But I’ll never know what I did,
Or what thoughts I’ve got to rid.
I’m not sure why I’m wasting space,
So I suddenly want to erase.
Yet even though only I’ll ever care
About this whirl of worthless words,
I’d smile to think they were ever there.
So having made my last accords,
I’d write away the end of insanity,
This fostered world of important ole’ me.
March 29, 2010 at 2:46 am | Poetry | No comments
2:21 AM
It’s late at night, so I think of tomorrow,
Or later today as my calendar might say,
And thus I imagine the chances of sorrow,
And figure the price I paid for today.
I’m ready to fall right flat on my head,
For not sleeping like my parents said.
And come nine hours there’s a math test;
I betcha my brain’ll be taking a rest.
But I have to type these lines of irony,
So my tomorrow’s self may get to see
That today I thought the cost was fine;
For the brightness of a day’s smile shine,
Though earned by foolish trifling gains,
Is in the future but a dream that wanes.
March 29, 2010 at 2:24 am | Poetry | No comments
Deleted Words
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March 14, 2010 at 10:47 pm | Uncategorized | No comments
I don’t know
I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I think I’m going crazy and falling into perpetual weirdness. I think I’m living in a dream or pretending to be high. I think I’m inspired to do nothing and gaze at the sky.
I don’t know what this blog is because all I ever seem to do here is…
…over-dramatize life.
March 12, 2010 at 7:13 pm | Lifepost | No comments
Celery Sticks
I’d fancy making a movie that had a ton of inside jokes that only my best of friends could ever understand.
I’d fancy creating fancy symbolism and drawn out metaphors or similes that you’d never figure out completely until you read my mind.
I’d make it the sort of movie that only I’d ever like, the sort of movie that puts a smile on my own face.
I’d fancy that I am my own artist and the creator of my own, well-marketed luxuries.
….
I’d fancy one day I look and see that the world is more than just me.
I’d fancy I’m speaking to a thousand ears and a million eyes.
I’d fancy I’m telling them the secrets that enriched my life.
I’d fancy I understand their endless strife.
….
One day I’d wake up and understand the people,
The people in the world who I so often ignore.
The ones who I am an artist for.
Because to live for only you and only yourself
Keeps your story on the shelf.
March 11, 2010 at 9:52 pm | Lifepost | No comments
The Truth
I am a very emotional person yet I often try to pretend I’m not.
I do things that don’t make sense yet I often try to make sense out of them.
I am afraid of everything yet I often pretend I’m fine.
I can play it all out in my head yet I always make excuses.
March 6, 2010 at 12:07 pm | Reflections | No comments
Words I’ll Only Ever Write
I think one morning how easily friendships break. For all their time and memories, and how much I make of all those little things in life.
But then I remember the truth, that I was the one who tried to not care, who, prideful and socially inadequate, ran away from my problems by being confusing, insincere, and critical. I was one who was never the friend.
And yet I can stand to be so sad that I receive my just desserts; an endless turmoil of regret and insecurity that drives an unfocused mind insane.
I was the one who set the ground for a superficial friendship and yet you stayed and smiled so kindly, the good person you were. You acted as if you forgave though I know you never forgot, at least in those days.
I walk through a crowd of people I am not interested in, because they’re not interested in me, to be honest. And this is how selfish I am.
And I want to say sorry for the person I was, the rejection of your kindness I gave. I want to say sorry, but I know my sorry is superficial and clingy because it’s too late for regret.
I have wishes that I could run away to some far off place and forget everything that ever was and start off some friendship anew, but cleansing away the imperfections of your life isn’t always so easy.
So I try again and say this time.
Thank you for being there for me when I felt alone in the world.
Thank you for being tolerant of all my insecurities.
Thank you for listening when I know you weren’t interested.
Thank you for being the friend I never deserved nor earned.
Thank you for the happiness and life lessons learned.
I may never find in my life another chance so great as I had then to make a true friend, but I should be satisfied nonetheless for I was lucky you were there.
And yet, all in all, you’ll never know my thoughts as I silence them from you, and you’ll never know my heart as I shun you in fear and shame.
These are the words I’ll only ever write as I’ve only ever written so many other words within my short, short life.
But I imagine if you were to ever read these words or hear my thoughts,
I’d tell you then to go far in life and be the beautiful soul you were meant to be
And never let false friends who acted the way I did put you down.
March 6, 2010 at 10:08 am | Lifepost | No comments